


SCALES

by lacerations



Category: Death Note
Genre: M/M, ding dong, in the butt, mikami is lizard, scales - Freeform, tobey maguire - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-21 09:28:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1545908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacerations/pseuds/lacerations
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>THRUST, thrusted Mikami. But the one Light really wanted was L...</p>
            </blockquote>





	SCALES

"KAMI!" cried Mikami, moving up and down and in out of his Kami. He was happier than he'd ever been in his life - he was connecting with his Kami! Sexually, sensually, romantically, spiritually… his heart overflowed with joy, and his ding dong throbbed warmly inside Light's butt.  
"Ssshhh," shushed Light, wishing Mikami would slow down, or at least pretend to not be so insane.  
THRUST, thrusted Mikami.  
"Slow down," Light ordered.  
"KAMIIIIIIIII!!!" Mikami moaned, his voice breaking in half and falling out of his mouth onto Light's chest.  
"Shut the fuck up," said Light, flicking Mikami in the eye. Mikami's eye went red and began to cry. It was already red in a shinigami way, but now it was red in a bloodshot way.  
"I will be quiet," promised Mikami in a whisper, his other eye crying as well because he was just so overcome with emotion.  
Finally! thought Light, who had been having difficulty pretending that Mikami was L when Mikami kept screaming KAMI in his face.  
"Don't tell anyone about this," warned the brown haired one, not wanting L to find out.  
"No, kami," Mikami panted. He was breathing hard, doing all the work. Light was just lying there smiling with his eyes closed, picturing L licking cake off his fingers.  
"Stop talking Mikami," commanded Light.  
"Yes kami."  
"Stop."  
"Kami."  
"STOP!" he pushed Mikami off him and groaned in frustration. Mikami fell off the bed onto his sticky up ding dong. One of them anyway. He had… more than one.  
"Ow," he said, quietly, not wanting to upset his kami further. "I'm so sorry," he began, standing up to address Light, but Light had already put his pants back on.  
"Get out," Light said.  
"Can I still be your eyes?" pleaded Mikami, whose name would have no purpose if he wasn't Kami's Mi.  
"Yes, I suppose so," said Light, then swiftly pushed Mikami out with his clothes and slammed the door.  
"Fuck," he said, pacing around the room, sexually frustrated, butt hurting. He dialled L's phone number.  
"I think I might be Kira," he said into the mouthpiece.  
"Again?"  
"Yeah. Maybe you should chain us together for a while." Light twirled his hair around his finger, not realising how Near-ish this was, having not met Near yet.  
"We already did that, Raito-kun," L reminded him. Angered at not getting his own way, Light hastily put a clean shirt on and got a special fast taxi to headquarters. When he arrived, L was alone in the big room, sitting in the dark and looking up at a screen.  
"Watching anime again, L?" said Light.  
"Yes."  
"I might join you." He sneaked up behind L and slipped a handcuff around his wrist, clicking it into place, then did the same to himself. L stared at him, then the chain.  
"I could be extremely dangerous if left alone, unchained," warned Light, pausing L's anime. The frozen image showed a badly coloured in man with freakishly large hands and a pointy face, skipping across a hill. "I don't know my own strength," continued Light. "My own hidden evil ness. You said yourself that -" L grabbed the remote control and turned the anime back on, ignoring Light.  
"You shouldn't be trying to seduce fellow detectives, Raito. It's unprofessional, not to mention unfaithful. Your boyfriend left a message on the answering machine just before you got here."  
"What."  
"Your boyfriend. He said his name was Mikami-chan, and that he was so, so, so sorry. He sounded like a... nice boy." Light scoffed. Mikami wasn't a nice boy. He was some kind of mad obsessive alien lizard creature disguised as a man. He had two ding dongs. One had scales on it.  
"Did he?" said Light, irritated. "As if I would try to seduce you, Ryuuzaki." And he laughed, as if the idea were absurd, when in fact it was exactly what he had been planning to do.  
L kicked Light in the face with his long foot and went back to watching Junjou Romantica.  
"I have a boyfriend," he said casually. "His name is Tobey."  
"That's nice," Light said through his clenched white straight teeth, jealousy making his stomach twist into an infinity shape. Or an eight, if you looked at it sideways.  
"He is part spider," L bragged, even though he actually hated Tobey's odd spider behaviours of swinging around everywhere and eating flies.  
"Oh yeah? Well my boyfriend is part lizard," said Light, even though he honestly detested Mikami's freaky darting tongue and scaly ding dong. The scales hurt his butt immensely.  
"Really. That's nice."  
"You don't even like spiders, L," said Light, remembering how yesterday L had found a spider under his desk and screamed and stamped on it until it became a fine paste. L looked down, shame clouding his obsidian liquid beads of vision organ.  
"You don't even like lizards," he pointed out. Light sighed. L was right, he… hated… lizards. So much.  
"We can keep this a secret," said Light. L turned to him.  
"A secret affair?" whispered the raven haired beauty.  
"No one will find out," return-whispered the tall blue eyed brunette.  
"I"m good with secrets."  
"So am I," said Light.  
"No you're not you SUCK at secrets I figured out you were Kira immediately," said L, annoyed. "In fact you -" Light halted L's criticism of him by kissing his talking mouth. It stopped talking and moaned,  
"Mmmyum," and L began to melt internally, grabbing a fistful of Light's shiny blow-waved hair and pulling his face closer so they smooshed together. Light climbed onto L and sat on top of him in a sexy way.  
"Cf," coughed Matsuda, standing by the elevator with Mikami (who had disguised himself as an expert spider removal man in order to get into the elevator).  
'expert spider removr MIKAMI' read Mikami's badge. Mikami fell to his knees.  
"KAMIIIIIII!!" he shrieked. "KAMIIIIIIIIIII~~~"  
"Raito! L! Are you two…? I never-" began Matsuda, voice shrill like a pidgeon that was having its head pulled off. L and Light glared, their legs wrapped around each other on the spinny chair, their ding dongs - almost - touching~  
"Almost touching," whispered L urgently to himself, trying to move his hips upwards.  
"What was that Ryuuzaki?" Light said over the sound of Mikami's incessant shrieking and Matsuda's bloblobgasp noise.  
"Touuucccchhh," said L, thrusting, and the ding dongs touched. He sighed happily. Everything was going to be OK.  
END.


End file.
